子女教育：教会孩子社交礼貌有多重要？

喜多多

孩子没礼貌，通常都是家长纵容的结果。

有些人或许认为只要孩子读书成绩好其他什么都不打紧，也有些认为这个年代没有人需要训练孩子成为先生淑女，学习社交礼仪没有意义。现实是这年代的父母很多都倾向纵容孩子，若孩子可以在公众地方喝骂父母，他们对着师长或其他人的礼貌就真的不堪设想。

有礼貌是having good manners，无礼貌是bad manners，留意礼貌是minding one's manners。教孩子good manners并不是要他们学做ladies或gentlemen，good manners只是基本的正确做人态度。

和manners有关的一个字是etiquette。Etiquette是the formal rules for polite behaviour in society or in a particular group，礼仪、礼节；例如︰Such conducts are a breach of professional etiquette.(这样的行为是违反职业礼仪规范。)

专写etiquette课题的美国作家Emily Post曾说："Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."(礼貌只是在意别人的感受。有这样的触觉，自然就有好的礼貌，与外出用餐时懂得先用哪柄叉子无关。)



教孩子礼貌，其实就是教他们不要以自我为中心，要随时随地顾及别人的感受，即being considerate。小事如在饭桌上不可用筷子敲打碗碟，目的也是不要骚扰同桌的其他人。

从小培养礼貌意识

专栏作家Isadora Fox在"Teaching Kids to Mind Their Manners"一文中指出，要有good manners就必先有礼貌的意识（awareness）。而培养孩子的礼貌意识需及早开始：

Around the 18-month mark, a child begins to understand that other people have feelings just like his, so this is the time to start teaching kids that their behavior affects others.
(孩子在约十八个月大就开始明白其他人像自己一样是有感觉的，在这个阶段就要教孩子他们的行为是会影响别人的。)

礼貌是一种习惯。"Good manners are a good habit."（有礼貌是好的习惯。）相反地，无礼貌自然也是一种习惯。

另一位礼仪专家Robin Thompson说："Behaving politely is a way of life, not just something you pull out when you're at a wedding or fancy(高级的) restaurant. It's important to start as early as you can so manners become something a child does automatically(自动地), whether she is at home or away."

365 Manners Kids Should Know的作者Sheryl Eberly则说："You wouldn't send a child off to preschool without a healthy snack. Sending her into the world without knowing social graces is equally problematic(有问题的)."

Grace解优美、优雅自然，众数graces则解the skills needed to behave in a way that is considered polite and socially acceptable，风度；而social graces就是社交风度。
(来自星报)

Jennifer眼开见钱

不错