有礼貌是having good manners,无礼貌是bad manners,留意礼貌是minding one's manners。教孩子good manners并不是要他们学做ladies或gentlemen,good manners只是基本的正确做人态度。
和manners有关的一个字是etiquette。Etiquette是the formal rules for polite behaviour in society or in a particular group,礼仪、礼节;例如︰Such conducts are a breach of professional etiquette.(这样的行为是违反职业礼仪规范。)
专写etiquette课题的美国作家Emily Post曾说:"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."(礼貌只是在意别人的感受。有这样的触觉,自然就有好的礼貌,与外出用餐时懂得先用哪柄叉子无关。)
专栏作家Isadora Fox在"Teaching Kids to Mind Their Manners"一文中指出,要有good manners就必先有礼貌的意识(awareness)。而培养孩子的礼貌意识需及早开始:
Around the 18-month mark, a child begins to understand that other people have feelings just like his, so this is the time to start teaching kids that their behavior affects others.
(孩子在约十八个月大就开始明白其他人像自己一样是有感觉的,在这个阶段就要教孩子他们的行为是会影响别人的。)
礼貌是一种习惯。"Good manners are a good habit."(有礼貌是好的习惯。)相反地,无礼貌自然也是一种习惯。
另一位礼仪专家Robin Thompson说:"Behaving politely is a way of life, not just something you pull out when you're at a wedding or fancy(高级的) restaurant. It's important to start as early as you can so manners become something a child does automatically(自动地), whether she is at home or away."
365 Manners Kids Should Know的作者Sheryl Eberly则说:"You wouldn't send a child off to preschool without a healthy snack. Sending her into the world without knowing social graces is equally problematic(有问题的)."
Grace解优美、优雅自然,众数graces则解the skills needed to behave in a way that is considered polite and socially acceptable,风度;而social graces就是社交风度。
(来自星报)